Disclaimer - this will be not a fuzzy warm post. It is what we are feeling, and it is not pretty, but we want to be real.
This is not a post that I ever thought that I would be writing. I never wanted to be writing it. Yet, here I am. I actually feel like crawling into bed, pulling the covers over my head, and never coming out. Real grown up, right? Here's the scoop: there have been rumors in the adoption world of huge changes in Ethiopian adoptions, and we have been praying for weeks that were just that - rumors. While nothing is official yet, we received a call from our agency today to let us know about the uncertainty that is surrounding Ethiopian adoptions as a whole, and more specifically, our adoption of "A". If the rumors become true (supposedly this Thursday), only 5 cases of adoption will be processed a day - instead of almost 50. I do not even want to do the math. It means potentially months, possibly years of waiting, while our daughter grows up in an orphanage. We are praying. We are praying for a miracle. We are praying for the children of Ethiopia that this affects - the children who have no voice, whose only longing is for a family to call their own. Don't get me wrong, the thought of unethical adoptions makes me physically ill, but the thought of millions of children sitting in orphanages because of political agendas, etc. makes me sick as well. My mind is a mess of jumbled thoughts and pleading cries - please let us just bring our daughter home. When my monkeys came home from school today - I grabbed them and gave them extra hugs, all the while wondering just how long it will be until I can do that with my daughter. The first thing they always ask when they come home is if we got a court date, and of course today that question brought another flood of tears. I tried to explain simply why I was sad - and my Noah said "Is this how you would feel if I was in Ethiopia and you couldn't come get me?". Oh sweet boy, that is exactly how I feel. Like my heart is broken. But we have hope. We are praying for a miracle. Please pray with us - for our daughter, for the families who are waiting on court dates, for the children who are facing an uncertain future, for the officials to change their minds, for peace for those of us who wait.
Today, this song has played nonstop in our house - Running in Circles by United Pursuit
It is my prayer tonight - that I will place my focus on His face, and not the waves.
3 comments:
Praying with you friend! Praying we get those court date calls very very very soon! this is a HARD HARD season to be in, so close yet seemingly so far. I totally understand all of the crazy emotions of this post. totally.
You are right this is NOT pretty and you speak the heart of us all sitting in your shoes right now too. Tears along with you right now!
We are not an adoptive family (yet) so I have hesitated commenting on this issue in fear that I don't really have a place to have an opinion. BUT, my heart breaks.. for the children who will sit, waiting... and for the families who have waiting and should be bringing their children home and may not be able to do so. I can only imagine how many orphan hearts this will break... children who are trying to hang on to some kind of hope, watching other children going home and waiting for their time... and then finding out that their turn may not come for years, or not at all. I can't even find the words to express the unfairness of it all, for everyone. There has to be another way. Even if it meant that adoption had to become even MORE expensive so that they can employ more bodies to process more adoptions thoroughly.. it would be a small price to pay.
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