Tuesday, November 30, 2010
trying to patiently wait - but not doing a very good job:)
well, dear readers, as many of you know we are unofficially number 3. Which is really really good. really really close. And my mind is playing games on me. we moved 6 numbers in one week, so three is a couple weeks really should not be too much, right? I cannot even imagine how Gini feels (she is my best friend sitting in the number one spot - every time I call her I have to apologize that it is just me and not our agency:). Anyways, I know that once we get a referral it is going to be so incredibly hard to not have her in my arms, but right now my heart just aches - we are so close and this momma knows that something is probably happening or will happen soon in her life - and while I want her so much it physically hurts, I cannot imagine what her family is going through. To wake up every day and wonder if today is the day often seems so very selfish to me - because my great gain of a daughter is another momma's loss. and then mix in with that the anticipation of actually getting the call, and the excitement of being so close - I am going crazy!!! So, if you see me in the next weeks, and wonder why I look like that crazy person I feel like:) this is why. I am an overdue, tired of waiting, anxious to be done waiting, grieving for my daughter and her family, hormonal MESS!!! thanks for putting up with me!